The 2nd one, right?
This is called figurative language and it is what takes something from just there to OMG, IT IS THERE!
Here is a great description:
Figurative language makes all the difference between boring writing and interesting, vivid communication. Have you ever heard someone say "It's raining cats and dogs"? Such metaphors allow readers to visualize scenes as though they were right there. Figurative language plays with a word's literal meaning, using it creatively to keep a reader's interest and attention.
Teaching your child to write using figurative language is not easy! Some kids get it, some don't. My son is a DON'T! He writes like his Dad, who writes like the cop he used to be. They write reports. They have to tell basic facts in those reports.
The lady wore a red dress.
The lady wore a flowing dress in blood red velvet with satin trim and rhinestones at the cuffs.
They both work, you know the lady wore a red dress in both sentences BUT the 2nd sentence captures you more and makes you want to keep reading!
When your child is writing anything, even a science report using facts about animals...they still need to make it worthwhile reading! It might be a report but a boring, dry report vs. a report using figurative language may make all the difference in the world!
So the next you give your child a writing assignment, try having them be more figurative in their writing!
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